A VERY IMPORTANT NEW YEARS EVE MESSAGE!!!! WHAT YOU OUGHT TO KNOW!!!!

I hope that Everyone is preparing for the New Year. I am more than sure that at this moment most of you are calling around to figure out "What's Crackin tonight?!", and if you know where you are going you are probably making sure that your outfit is on point and that ya swag is gone be on one-hundred thousand trillion. I know my ladies are running down the check list: Nails (check!), hair (check!), bossy ass fit (check!), and we cant forget...Poppin' (check!). lol...For those that are confused, poppin' is lip gloss. I know that all of these things are being done because we all want it to be a great night full of memories and excitement. Many people are also preparing for the numerous New Year traditions that must take place. One particular tradition that many people fail to do, or is seen as a Corney tradition, is the New Year Kiss. (awwwww....) So here's the deal for those of you that dont know. Now supposedly you are to kiss that special someone at the stroke of midnight. While everyone is screaming, throwing shots back, popping bottles of champagne, and acting a fool, you are suppose to grab that special someone, look them in their eyes and then make out like crazy!.....Well you dont have to make out with them, or get to 2nd base in the middle of the party (if you did, i think it would make the party soo much better) but you can just share a simple kiss...with tongue if you like. :-} Now you may be thinking, "what the hell is this suppose to do, besides guarantee someone to go home with??".....well it is said that if you kiss someone at the stroke of midnight you are either guaranteed a wonderful and exciting relationship with tha person, or you will have a great year when it comes to the opposite sex. Now if you fail to kiss someone when the ball drops.....you will have a year of loneliness!!!! Now i dont know if this works or not...I've never done it...but then again, I've never had a year of success when it came to the opposite sex..lol. So hey, I may as well try it!
For your own sake....kiss someone when the ball drops! You dont wanna spend 2010 lonley and sad because you cant get a date. And if you kiss someone and it doesnt work...well at least you will always have a great memory. So I hope that Everyone has a wonderful and SAFE New Year! Ya'll know that stupid people are going to be out tonight...so get somewhere and get it crackin in a SAFE environment. If the kiss gets pass 2nd base, please be SAFE and wrap it up. "You gotta wrap it...before you slap it!", "Don't be silly, Protect your willy","If you gone hump, cover your stump"
LOL...Y`a'll know I be tweakin! Lol....this reminds me of one or my favorite movies..lol..random, but ill post a clip of it below for your viewing pleasure! :-) IN CONCLUSION, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE AND I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD NIGHT!

A RECESSION OF BLACK MEN!!!....Its turning into a Great Depression.

PLEASE WATCH THE FOLLOWING LINK BEFORE READING THIS BLOG!






After Watching this video the question that comes to mind is, "What the hell is Really Good?!" As a young Black woman I have aspirations and dreams of someday being married happily to that special someone, having children, and living happily ever after. I believe that is the dream for majority of black women. But sadly, every African American woman will never make that dream a reality. I wrote an earlier Blog entitled "Beauty and The Beast," and in this blog i expressed my frustrations with great women finding great men. You would think that the women in this clip, being as successful and independent as they are, wouldn't have problems attracting men of the same caliber. You would think that success would attract success! BUT IT RARELY WORKS THIS WAY! WHY?

#1: The video was right. African American Women out number African American Men! There are 1.8 MILLION more African American women than men!...which means sistas, if you tryna get a brotha put your gym clothes on cuz a few of us are going to have to fight it out! lol. And society always wonder why black women are fighting and tearing each other down because of men...ITS BECAUSE THE BLACK MEN ARE RATIONED! BROTHAS...IT AINT THAT MANY OF YA'LL SO WHEN WE FIND A GOOD ONE...WE GOTTA THROW ON THE GLOVES TO KEEP YOU....so sad..but so true!

#2: Interracial dating! I am not one to knock interracial dating...I like white men...ya'll cute, ya'll funny, and I NEVER met one that couldn't get financed for a house. Hello Somebody! lol. BUT you also have to subtract the number of African American males that choose to date and or marry outside of their race! I have a few white friends that are dating black guys and they wonder why they get dirty looks from sistas when in public...white women: "ITS BECAUSE YOU ARE WALKING AROUND WITH A RARE COMMODITY!" Black women get the short end of the stick because its much easier for a black man to date a white woman, than it is for a black woman to get with a white man! Tis True!....I will give you my reasoning behind that during black history month! But if you must know now....respond asking, and ill send a reply. :-)

#3: We as black women often times have to lower our standards in order to at least be with SOMEBODY at the end of the day. As you've seen in the video...the SMALLEST population of African American males (sadly) are the ones that are successful, and have things going for themselves. The largest population are the SCRUBS!...and I say scrubs for a lack of better word. I hate it when black women are told that we set our standards TOO HIGH for the man in which we wish to be with. WHAT?! Its not that we are unrealistic...its that we set our standards too high for the population of brothas that actually qualify! In the video, you hear the women speak of the Black Woman Curse...now although they may have exaggerated...There is some truth behind this! I even see this on the campus of my college. Black women struggle when it comes to finding brothas...our conversations consist of "It aint NOBODY in Blo-No to talk to!" But my white friends are meeting at least 3 new guys every damn weekend!! Whats really good?! And they are happy!...(They're arent many Brothas on college campuses!...but big ups to those that Are!)

#4: Now its time to come at the sistas!!! Sistas...we cant blame this situation ENTIRELY on society, or black men...because we have MAJOR issues as well. We either are so success driven and "accomplished" that we arent willing to work with a brotha...now im not saying go find a crack head and attempt to reform him...im saying that just as sure as we struggle in society, they struggle as well and its up to us to be there as support. I hear all the time, "He aint making enough money!" Whaaat?! Ok...he may not be the CEO just yet, and he may not be making 6 figures, but when he does...and a brotha thats driven will...(As Kanye says) HE GONE GET ON AND LEAVE YO ASS FOR A WHITE GIRL! Sistas, we gotta work with the brothas who at least tryna make it! On another note: DONT EXPECT A MAN TO HAVE SOME SHIT THAT YOU AINT GOT! Dont look for a brotha thats ON if you aint ON..stay in ya lane. Also...SISTAS...WE GOT SOME JACKED UP ATTITUDES! I mean...I love the fact that we are strong, and we dont take shit...but really! We gotta learn how to turn the attitude ON and OFF!!!...It gets annoying and its gettin kinda played out. We gotta find something else besides eye rolling, neck snapping, and aggressive hand gestures to to get our men to act right...WHEN WE ALL DO BETTER....THEY HAVE NO CHOICE TO DO THE SAME. We blame men for soooo much stuff...but EVERY SINGLE MAN in this world came from a woman...thats where it starts.

In conclusion, Please let me know what you think about this one. As a single black woman in hopes of being "wifey" one day...I would like to know..."WHATS REALLY GOOD?!" And I know that this subject can go in so many different directions with so many opinions...but im anxious to hear what you feel. Increase!

Signs of love making.....

Hey All! I was just doing some work and I had my itunes on shuffle and these two songs came on back to back, "Signs of Love Making" by Tyrese, and then "Signs" by Beyonce. Got me to thinking about the truth behind zodiac compatibility...I honestly dont belive 100% in the whole Zodiac thing...but I cant help but admit that most people identify with their Zodiac signs. And there is correlation between peoples behaviors and the time of year they were born. For example, Im a Leo...PRETTY MUCH THE RAWEST SIGN OF THEM ALL. I was born on July 28th...ROARRR!!!!lol. Its crazy because the Leo Zodiac pretty much describes me to a T!!!! Leo's : MUST be in charge, Aggressive, are creative, extrovert, strong willed, positive, intolerant, great sense of humour, fun to be around, warm hearted, secretly sensitive, must always be right, over protective, loves praise and compliments, Faithful, needs companionship, and pretty much confident (well conceited). Ok...that was in a nut shell. But I cant say that not one of those things dont describe me....except, im not conceited...just very confident.
I am not one to believe that one should by any means base their entire means of picking companion off of their sign. I think that you can make it work with just about anyone if your are willing to give and take due to your differences. BUT i thought about some of the relationships or people that I've talked to that didnt work out....and I thought about those that did...and the people that I liked the best were the ones that my sign are expected to be most compatible with. The people that didnt work out, were the signs that Leos just dont connect with. CRAZY RIGHT!?! Now I aint gone put no names on blast, but I WILL...put your sign on blast...Lets start with the signs that I really enjoyed.

#1- Mr. Leo:

:-) Jamie Foxx Sang it best "Ohhhh we were so the same, i dunno why i cant see it baby. And it aint no point of feeling blue...ya just like me and im just like you....ya just like me...."
Mr. Leo Is just as aggressive as I am and doesn't let you get away with ANYTHING! He plays VERY rough...but he is just as warm and caring. He appreciates Romance and the finer things in life....they also like to cuddle :-). The only thing that clashes....YOU GONE GET TIRED OF FINDING WAYS TO STROKE THAT EGO....lol. And Very touchy feely!...Just like Simba and Nala....a perfect match.

#2- Mr. Gemini

:-) A really affectionate pair! Leos love with their hearts...and Mr. Gemini loves with his mind. Very creative when it comes to romance and thinking of ways to make you smile. Only down fall I had....Leos are a tad bit jealous and short tempered...and Gemini's flirt toooooo much!!!! lol. But lowkey..they do it and dont even know that they're doing it!! so...you cant really stay that pissed at the end of the day....cuz its just their nature. Plus they will ALWAYS find was to assure you that you are the most important. Mr. Gemini is pretty smooth. ;-) You find yourself cakin ALOT wit Mr. Gemini.

#3- Mr. Aries

:-) Mr. Aries Is by far just as AGGRESSIVE as Mr. Leo. You stay on your feet when you're around Mr. Aries because there will more than likely ALWAYS be an argument...or debate about something. There is never a down time Its either really good...or really bad. No in between. But both signs playful and childlike nature often keeps the both interested. Aries are very passionate, which is a turn on. Downfall....besides the fact that they are COMPLETELY stubborn...Aries like to spend money + I like to spend a lot of money= No checks and balances when it comes to finances!!

***One thing I noticed about Leo and Aries Men...They ALL like their heads rubbed!...and strangely....scratched..??? (I guess They get a lot of tension in the head area from being so big headed and head strong...If you rub their heads....they'll appreciate it.********

TOP 3 DISLIKES

#1- Mr. Cancer

:-( Mr. Cancer....sensative/moody. It can be cute at first, but it soon becomes irritating. Cancers can be very insecure as well....which is cute at first..but grows to be a pain. lol. Their feelings get hurt easily as well. Also, I didnt like the fact that I could DOMINATE at EVERYTHING...I mean I like to be dominate...but If I feel as if I can be in charge of EVERYTHING in every aspect of the relationship...I get bored.

#2 Mr. Aquarius

:-( :-( :-( As far as relationships and communication...BOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Besides the fact that Mr. Aquarius often seems as if he doesn't care most of the time...he NEVER knows exactly what he wants in life, or at least he keeps it to himself...which clashes with Ms. Leo because she ALWAYS knows what she wants, how she wants it, and how she's gonna get it. I just found out TODAY...that this sign is my POLAR OPPOSITE. Explains a lot! 3 thumbs DOWN..lol...cool as a friend tho.

#3 Mr. Pisces

One word.....BOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! Dang.....I need just a bit more Razzle Dazzle. lol...cool as a friend tho.



These are my opinions on these signs based on my sign, and my experiences...I am curious to know other peoples opinions!!! Do you think Zodiac compatibility has truth to it??

I'll leave you with two songs!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKlY9IG8Y4k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDoGMhOATNs

Wrong Guy.....Right Things....sucks!

Hey! Its me again...Blogging. lol... So I was just having a convo with a good friend of mines...I would like to thank you for this wonderful topic! I think a few people can relate to this one....I know I can!

Have you ever had the wrong person doing all the right things??? lol..It sounds funny...but its so true. A person takes an interest in you and they start to do all the right things. For us ladies, they call to check up on you frequently, they're considerate, they hold great conversation and they actively listen to you, never forgets your birthday, buy you gifts, shares the same interests as you, sensitive, understanding, always wants to take you out...etc. But even though he does all of these things you cant help but wish it was another guy doing these things. You cant help but wish that the other guy had sense enough to do the same things that this "wrong guy" was doing. Every time your phone rings, you're hoping that its the guy that you want to be calling you, but your heart drops because its the"wrong guy" calling to see how your day went. You can be out on a date having the time of your life with this "wrong guy", and the entire time you are thinking about someone else. And its not that you dont appreciate this "wrong guys" gestures....you just wish that the other guy would do the things that he was doing. And at the end of the day you feel as if you should just charge it to the game and maybe force yourself to make it work with this "wrong guy" thats doing all the right things.....because at least he's taking an active interest in trying to establish a relationship with you...unlike this other guy. In reality you know that if you did settle for this "wrong guy" doing the right things...you would never be truly happy because your heart or should I say, Mind, would be so fixated on this other guy. This leaves this, "wrong guy" hurt in the end.
Emotions are very complicated...which sucks. The questions that need to be answered is, why will this wrong guy doing all the right things never be the right guy? Why isnt the wrong guy the guy thats not doing all the right things? And last but not least, what makes this "right guy" (or the guy you wish would be doing the right things) right? I will honestly say that I dont have the answers this time. I've pondered on these questions, and sadly ive been in this situation before. And honestly you feel bad because you only call the "wrong guy" when the guy you wanted to go out with isnt available to go out with you. Ive been in situations where at the end of the date I wanted to say, "Look..Im a horrible person, dont ever call me again...for your own good." lol. It eats at you on the inside because its as if your using this "wrong guy" as a practice dummy for when the real guy wants to get his shit together. And then you go through the phase of feeling like a dummy, because this other guy probably aint even thinking about you, and here you are not enjoying this "wrong guy" because you cant stop thinking about the guy who aint probably thinking about you! lol.
And if you've been in this situation.....we all know what happens next. You finally get frustrated and fed up with the guy who aint doing shit...and you MOVE ON! You start enjoying this wrong guy. At first you had to force yourself....but then it starts to work out and you actually start to like him. You have finally gotten to the point where you can go out and not think about this other guy. You find happiness and comfort with this "wrong guy".....and he soon becomes who you think is the "right guy." AND THEN.....when you are content with this situation....the guy who you wished was doing all the right things comes back into the picture! UH OH!!!...and you thought you had moved on, but sadly....you realize....not so much. lol. So now the right guy is trying to do all the right things....and you're confused....and angry. You get angry because you wonder why he couldn't have just had his shit together from the beginning....if he had done so, then you wouldn't have even needed to force the wrong guy to be the right guy! I may be confusing people a bit....but if you've been here before, then I think you will be able to follow me.

In the end you have to either choose to either be with the guy you wanted to be with initially....or tell him that he missed out and you moved on. But depending where your heart...or infatuation is...the final decision may vary.

I will leave you with this JAzmine Sullivan song...She explains her decision beautifully!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-WQQSla5Hs

WHEN ITS COLD OUTSIDE.....XOXOXOXO

John Legend sang it best when he said..."WHEN ITS COLD OUTSIDE! NO NEED TO WORRY CUZ IM SOO WARM INSIDE!!"

Im sitting in my apartment snuggled up on my couch with my favorite blanket...kinda pissed because I had to brush snow off of my car this morning!! Im thinking about how I hate the winter because its a complicated season. It takes too much to get out of the house in the morning! Im a summer lover. I like it about 90 degrees or hotter, body sticking to leather car seats, blasting the AC at night, dont want nobody too close to me cuz im sweating, get up and put on little of nothing and go. Although I hate the winter, I cant help but to admit that it is the season of love....TIS THE SEASON TO BE CAKIN'!!!! FA LA LA LA LA...LA LA LA LA! lol. Having that special someone makes the winter all the more enjoyable :-). Nothing is better than having that extra body heat at night, and having someone to brush the snow off of the car for you in the morning. Someone to rub your feet when they're cold at night. Someone to curl up and cuddle with on the couch. Someone to exchange back rubs with.
The winter requires ALOT of indoor recreation. Alot of romance... ;~) You find yourself doing things in a more intimate setting because its too cold to go out. Instead of going out to eat and to the movies...you may feel inspired to make a home cooked meal for that special someone and call it a block buster night. Staying indoors gives you an opportunity to converse with your significant other, and get to know them on a deeper level. During the spring and summer we often fail to spend alone time with that special someone because of the various activities and social settings that come along with these times of the year. This freezing weather invites the heat that stems from winter romance. And the best idea for winter romance generally lies in your own hands and imagination. This time of the year requires you to get creative in order to keep both you and your partner amused. Its always fun trying to figure out how many ways both you and your partner can generate body heat... ;-)
If you think about it..all of the most romantic ans loving holidays are in the winter such as Christmas, and please lets not forget Valentines Day! During this time of year you feel warmth and comfort by gazing in the eyes of your partner, and whispering sweet nothings in their ear. You enjoy being held in that late hours of the night while exchanging pillow talk......During the holidays he can play Santa....and you can be Mrs. Clause. Make winter hott and steamy!!

HOWEVER....The winter time can be lonely for those of us that are single... (whomp, whomp, whomp)....so to all my single people...lets generate body heat by taking a few shots, getting fresh to deaf, and gettin it crackin at the CLUB!!! Cuz lowkey....as soon as the snow melts...so will half of these relationships!! lol...Lets generate heat by going hard at the gym in order to get that beach body for the summer!! Feel Free to come and generate heat with me by getting beat in Nintendo wii boxing!!! lol. Do not be discouraged single people!!! lol. Single is for the summer....but do not fret....I put a hit out on that punk ass ground hog so that fool WILL NOT be seeing his shadow!! lol.....Summertime here we come!!!

Shout out to Rhea Newman! I couldnt do it ship...I tried to make this one as mushy and lovey dovey as possible...but reality hit me!! lol. But Ya'll know I just be clownin...but so serious. :-)

TEARING DOWN THE WALLS TO BUILD UP A FENCE...a scary thing.

Hey guys....Its been a min, once again...but I promise imma get used to this frequent blogging thing. I didnt realize how many people actually read them....THANKS FOR THE LOVE. That makes me wanna Blog more. :-)....Today is one of those days where I have ALOT to say.

This is another one from my heart to yours....

Someone once told me, "Sometimes people put walls up. But they are not to keep people out, they are to see who is willing to break them down." When I heard this my first response was, "YES!! EXACTLY!!" But as of late I have contrary feelings about this statement. Its true, sometimes people put up walls as a form of protection. We build walls around our hearts to keep it guarded, to keep it safe from potential heartbreak. We even put up walls around our minds to keep that from being broken. One of my ships once told me the difference between having your heart broken...and having your mind broken. Now although the two may be hard to differentiate, there is a difference. When your heart is broken, it takes an emotional toll on you. You can actually feel a heartbreak in the pit of your stomach (not a good feeling). It almost makes it hard to sleep at night. When your mind is broken, you may feel as if its taking an emotional toll on you, however your mind is simply overly obsessing over the situation at hand. You dont even necessarily have to be in love with, or have an emotional attachment with the individual that breaks your mind. You simply cant stop thinking about the mistreatment or confusing actions in which the person displayed. When your heart is broken, you are more vulnerable a susceptible to forgiveness. But When your mind is broken you have to constantly analyze what went wrong, how it could have went better, and what you will do to prevent it from happening again. I say all of this in support of the fact, and to give examples as to why we build walls.

Although we may build walls with all of the right intentions, we may hinder the progression of potentially great relationships. Sometimes a challenging someone to break your walls down may read as an impossible task. When you build walls so thick that its hard for an individual to even figure out how to see even the smallest part of your inner self, it becomes discouraging and often times a complete turn off. I have been a victim of this before, and I must admit that I still have issues with walls. I think any individual that continues to run into BS will soon put up walls. I can honestly say that I've missed out on great opportunities because of walls. Walls sometimes alleviates the "benefit of the doubt" that most people should be granted. Walls often times make it easier to believe the "he say she say" about individuals in which you are involved with. Walls will have you to believe that everything that a person says to you should either be second guessed, or that they are telling a complete lie. Walls will make you bitter in actuality. A literal wall is made to keep things completely blocked off. It is designed to keep something in, and to keep other things out. We build emotional walls to keep our inner feelings and emotions in, and to keep anyone willing or attempting to see a deeper side of you out.
I've come to realize that you must give people something to work with. This is not to say let your guards down completely, but try building a gate instead of a wall. Gates are strong and they wont allow just anyone in. But A gate will at least allow a person to see a glimpse of whats on the other side, although they cant get to it at the moment. A gate gives the person hope that one day they can get to the other side. I myself am in progress of breaking down my own walls and putting up gates, instead of relying on waiting on someone else to do so. Try figuring out how to start breaking your own walls down in order to reconstruct yourself. Healing starts with yourself. IF YOU DONT HAVE THE PATIENCE, OR THE EQUIPMENT TO BREAK YOUR OWN WALLS DOWN...HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT. Its a very scary thing...but you cant be truly happy until you do so. And this is from my heart to yours....much love! :-)

True love. Myth or Legend?

Im up late....as always. Thinking....as always. I dunno why I cant go into deep thought before 12am. Maybe because my phone doesnt start ringing off the hook until this time of night...or should I say, Morning. lol. I have two monologues and a song to work on....but I need to write. This is another one from my heart to yours....hope you enjoy.

I often find myself straying further and further away from the possibility of love. Once you think you've finally got it all figured out in every aspect of its intricate nature, it changes the game on you. I dont think that no one wants to not believe in love. I think that we are forced to not believe in such a thing because of its ever so inconvenient absence. True love to some, is as God to an unbeliever. The unbeliever doesnt not want to believe, but because of the absence of evidence or lack of presence of this physical being, it becomes hard to exercise faith. Now this is not to say that I dont believe in God...because I love the Lord! I'm just making a comparison. Just as the unbeliever, many people wake up everyday with hopes that the possibility of true love will eventually manifest.
In my personal opinion...I don't believe in true love. Or at least not at this point in my life. I dont believe that there is only one person on this earth that you could possibly live the rest of your life with. I believe that there are at least 50 people in this world that you could potentially meet and spend the rest of your life with. Its all about which one of them you meet first. I guess that person would be considered your truest love?? lol. Or just a very lucky individual. This is not to say that I treat every person in my life as if there are 49 other people that could replace them. Because I dont. You may not ever get the chance to meet the other 49...but that doesnt mean that their not out there. Everyone gets the chance to prove themselves to be the lucky individual, and if they dont, chalk it up and pray that you run into one of the spares. lol. Honestly, I dont think that half of married couples are with their "true love".....I think I just pissed a few people off. lol. True love is a story about two people who were put on this earth just for each other, and who could never be with anyone else but that one special person. They can be put on two different sides of the world and yet they will still find each other through this "magnetic love foce." Kinda like the movie Hancock!!! yeah...just like that. Now even though Will Smith and the Lady were made for each other, and found each other no matter what....she still found happiness with her husband (the not so attractive average guy). Now I may be missing a few details, but you get the point. I think that even in the midst of getting to that "true love" there is a possibility that you will find someone else who makes you just as content, and happy.
True Love would have to prove me wrong. But I personally feel that its a waste of time searching for that one individual in which you believe is created exclusively for you. But thats just may be my opinion. I may sound like the Grinch that killed true love, but im speaking the truth of the matter. Or at least what I feel and observed to be true. But thats just my opinion, let me know what you think.....:-)

They Dont Make Em' Like They Used To!! Is Chivalry Dead??

ITS BEEN A LOOONG TIME COMMING!! SORRY THAT ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I POSTED MY LAST BLOG! Been sooo Busy, But trust we have much to catch up on!

Question of the Day! Is Chivalry dead??....Answer: It seems so! In my honest opinion it seems as if we need to all get together and have a damn funeral for Chivalry, because it seems to be rather scarce these days. Somebody probably reading this asking, "what is Chivalry?"....and I know somebody asking, cuz they are literally asking me right now on the phone as I type. lol. I should put you out there! But for those that may not be familiar with the term (slow folks)....

Chivalry: is a term related to the medieval institution of knighthood. It is usually associated with ideals of knightly virtues, honor and courtly love. The word is derived from the French word "chevalerie", itself derived from "chevalier", which means knight, derived from "cheval", horse (indicating one who rides a horse)....now thats from wikipedia, so you may need to check that source! lol.
But Today, the terms chivalry and chivalrous are used to describe courteous behavior, especially that of men towards women; such as opening doors, pulling out chairs, walking a woman to her door at night to make sure she got in the crib safe, taking out the garbage, buying her a pair of stilettos every now and then.... (Ok... think i may have added that last one), but you get the picture.
I am confused as to why these things dont happen anymore?! I hate it when one of my silly ass friends call me (you know I love ya'll) talkin bout, "I think I like him alot!" I reply, "Why, my silly ass friend?" the silly ass friend replies, "Because he so sweet! He be opening doors for me, and when he asked me out, he didnt make me pay!"....WTH!! THATS WHAT THEY SUPPOSE TO DO!! Women give men bonus points for stuff that they should be doing by nature, and things that their mother or grandmother should have taught them from the get go. Im not saying that a man has to go to extremes like throwing his jacket over a puddle of water, or slicing her steak into small pieces to prevent her from doing manual labor when out to dinner, but its the basic things that lack now days. Why dont men do the simple things like, walk his date to the door to make sure she gets in without being raped, Not expect a woman to pay for the date if you're the one that asked her out, Open doors (including car doors), Dont make her sit in a cold ass car with you in sub zero winter weather until it heats up (now brothas done got smart with the automatic starters! lol..), Pull the car around if you guys are parked across the world, etc...
All of the above are simple things! Maybe i feel this way because of how my dad treated me growing up....and I consider him to be a real man. But they dont make em' like they use to!

(Playing Devils advocate) Why men dont do these things? Answer: Because women dont know how the hell to act when they do them. I hate it when a silly ass friend says, "I dont really like him.....he too nice." What the hell is too nice?!?! ......and women ya'll know ya'll be sayin dumb ish like that!! Straight pissin me off!! lol. I dunno about my silly ass friends....but i like nice men.... It sure beats being with Ike Turner. A man walks you to the door late at night and you grabbin for your mace like he's the one who's gonna attack you!.......i know...cuz i done did it b4! lol!!!...it caught me off guard tho! We pull up to my crib and i get out and start walking to my door. He parks and takes his keys out the ignition and starts walking behind me. Because it was so out of the ordinary I had to stop and say, "Where the hell you think you goin?".....after looking at me like i was retarded he explained that he was simply walking me to my door because my porch light wasn't on. I felt kinda dumb. But i mean, why he have to take the keys out the ignition?? He could have kept the car running...that was kinda suspect...im just sayin! ( lowkey, I still think he thought his ass was about to come in....I have no way to prove it tho. lol)
In addition to women not knowing how to react to such actions, men also feel as if certain women don't deserve such treatment. I have a brother....I see some of the hoochies he kick it with....this is understandable. lol. You are treated the way you allow people to treat you. If you dont seem as if you require much, then you wont get much in return. However, I still feel that no matter how a woman Carry's herself, she should still be treated like a woman.

In Conclusion, Is Chivalry dead? If so, can it be resurrected? Let me know what you think!

Protect your investment?? or Protect your heart....

This blog is dedicated to a good friend of mines...hope you read this and find the strength to Keep it movin'.....


Why is it so hard to let go? Why is enough, never truly enough? Why do we continue to put our feelings on an emotional chopping block? Why do we continue to work for something that will never be?....If the answers to these questions were cut clear and to the point then we all would live happily ever after. Sadly, they are not, so we are left to find the best answers to these problems.
Humans are emotional beings. God created us to live for love in order to survive. Weather you choose to admit it or not, we all want companionship. We will fully invest our time and emotions in this pursuit of love. Once you have made this investment, you will do whatever you have to do to maintain it. You look at a person in a dysfunctional relationship and you ask, "Why does he/she continue to stay in this F'd up relationship?" The answer to this is simple. No one likes to feel as if they've wasted their time. When you've been in a relationship or even "talking" to someone for a while, its hard to give up on the situation when you feel as if you've invested so much time and energy into it. History makes people stay. History makes people feel as if they are obligated to endure disrespect, mistreatment, and even unhealthy situations. History also makes you capable and willing to put up with things that you wouldn't normally put up with. In your eyes, you have loved this person, fought with this person, and worked hard to maintain the situation in which you and this person has, so by no means will you let it go easily. Even if its not on a "love" level, you may have dedicated time (moments you could have been sleep, you were up either talking or texting this person), energy ( You may have went out of your way to do a few things for this person), and even money (Dates, lending money, gifts, gas money to go and visit he/she). All of these things are personal and emotional investments you made, and no one likes to see their investment go bad. These things create an attachment or bond between you and this individual that makes it hard for you to part ways with them.
Its also hard to let go when you've made sacrifices. When you sacrifice parts of yourself, when you've sacrificed your inner thoughts, when you've sacrificed your deepest secrets, when you've sacrificed parts of yourself that you wouldn't normally share with anyone, it makes it hard to let go. This is because you are not only letting this person go, but you are letting parts of yourself go as well.
I'll tell a personal story, since i like to use everybody else business as an example...lol...Some time ago I was dating this guy....I hate showing emotions because it makes me feel weak. I am the type that will keep up a wall by any means necessary because It takes ALOT for me to put myself out there like that. I was dating this guy for A WHILE and we fell out about something and he was pretty much ready to leave me the hell alone. So i revealed something about myself that I would NEVER tell anybody. I told him this because i felt that it was the root to this problem that we were having. After I told him this, i felt real weak, but I also felt closer to him. I had invested a HUGE part of myself in him, and he appreciated it because he could now understand the reason why i acted certain ways. After this I felt even more invested and I grew to like him even more, and i eventually let my wall down. Things eventually turned for the worse. He started cutting up! and like a dummy i stayed with my investment. I was THAT girl. People would ask, "why do you put up with that??" At the time i didn't know, all i knew is that I wanted to make it work. I wanted us to be happy.
I now realize that protecting your heart is WAAAAAAAY more crucial then protecting your investment. Protecting your integrity is SOOOOOO much more important than protecting your investment. Protecting your sanity is ALOT more important than protecting your investment. You can invest your all in a person, but at the end of the day if you have nothing for yourself it is so not worth it. You invest in a person with hopes that you will gain an increase. You may feel as if you will loose a lot by letting a person go, but i PROMISE you will gain even more by letting them go. We forget that life goes on. Take some time to restore yourself and gain everything that you've given back.
This is why you hear women pissed when its all said and done (busting windows out of cars, cutting people, burning clothes), because by nature we give, and we give big. There are no lengths that a women wont go through to make sure that a brother is held down. Ladies we all know, your man cant be out there bogus because they're representing you. When your man is looking and feeling good then you look and feel good as well. And i can personally say that there are some brothers out there like that as well. But when you do all of the above, its hard to let go. Or when and if you let go, it gonna be an epic event.
But as i said before, no investment is worth pain. It may be easier said than done, but you gotta keep it moving. Pick up what you have left and take time to regain what was lost. Never go looking for a rebound, or someone to give what he/she didn't get the chance to get, but go and regroup. You may even find someone who is willing to give you everything you gave that other person. And this blog is from my heart....hope this helps my friend, and everyone else tuning in. Let me know what you think!

DONT YOU- EVER- GET TOO- COMFORTABLE!

So...im up and cant go to sleep...so why not blog....right? lol. One of my co-workers told me that her and her bf had broken up today due to the fact that he just wasnt, "acting the same." So they've been official for a few months now and she claims that he just isnt doing the same things that he used to do. When they first started talking it seemed as if he showed much more of an interest in her, now it seems as if he shows an interest at his leisure. She used to get calls from him throughout the day, he would send her random cute little text messages to let her know he was thinking about her, and he would take her out frequently. However, as of late he has done a total 180. He'll go an entire day without contacting her in any way, and when he does, the conversations are brief or he says that hes getting some things together for work so he'll call her back. She went on to tell me that he even stopped doing things like opening car doors, and the other day when they went to the movies he walked in before her and let the door snap back and hit her in the chest....wow....lol. I asked her if she did anything to make him act this way or if his actions were intentional. She said no and that when she confronts him, he apologizes whole heartedly and has no recollection of doing these things.
Three words describe this situation....COMFORTABLE AS HELL! This doesn't just go for guys...although men have the greatest reputation for being such....but it goes for women as well. People get COMFORTABLE...plain and simple. At the beginning of any relationship, the person who is pursuing will always bring their "A Game." It is important to do all the things you should do, or need to do by any means necessary to get what you want, weather its a relationship, a kick it buddy, or just sex. Men in particular, as we all know, love the chase. And women, as we all know love to be chased. Once you have given the chase over to the chaser, the chasee has lost all power and the chaser will potentially loose interest. UNLESS....you find another game to play on another level. NOW...you may say, "Im not for playing games!"....well my lonely friend, wake up and realize that relationships are all about "games" and keeping some sort of game present in the relationship. In the olden days, the role of the chaser was indeed the man....and the role of the chasee was indeed the woman. However, somehow, someway the game has changed. Men must have had a national convention that us women didnt know about, to change the playing field. ATTENTION!! ATTENTION!!! LADIES!!!! MEN FOR SOME ODD REASON....LIKE TO BE CHASED!!!! I know...thats friggin weird, right??? However, as I told my heartbroken co-worker...its up to you to determine if you're gonna be the chaser...or the chasee.
People don't get comfortable when they have something to work for. There is no time to put your "A-Game" on the back burner when someone is always giving you something to pursue. My fellow relaxed co-worker got comfortable as well on her chasee game...which has cause the tables to turn, hence she is now the Chaser. It all depends on what role you wanna play. People get COMFORTABLE when they aren't active. Raise the stakes just a bit more to get the other person active; getting them out of that comfort zone. If that doesn't work, then maybe that person just isn't that into you. If you think the person you're with is COMFORTABLE...then ask yourself how you've contributed to this comfort level....and plan/act accordingly. You can either continue to play the game and love em...or leave em alone. I'll `leave you with a quote from Lil Wayne and my boy Face..."I'm not saying this to shake you up, im just saying this to wake you up. Its all good when we making love, all I ask is dont take our love for granted, cuz granted...my love for you is real. if you dont love me somebody else will, so baby girl/boy dont you ever get too COMFORTABLE."....And thats real.

Are you Paranoid, Crazy, or Justified???!..(for the professional ROBOCOPS)

So, todays issue has been long past due!! Why do we spend so much time and energy trying to catch up the person that we "messing with", your boyfriend/girlfriend, or even someone that you are just dating or talking to. I know either you have called someone or have gotten a call like this..." Hey. so did you go to the party tonight?? What time did_____ leave?? Did you see____ leave with ___??? Did it look like he/she was driving north or south on main street??? Cuz he/she live south and if he/she was driving North then imma be pissed!!!!" You ask about a million questions and no matter what answers you get you still have made up in your mind that this person is lying. You do things like wait until the person goes to the bathroom, or even sleep so that you can hurry up and browse through those text messages and call history. Now the call history is cool...unless its a female/males name and the call time is more than 8 mins...when you talkin for 10, it becomes a bit suspect..lol. And dont let the inbox messages be full, but there isnt any outbox messages...uh oh. then you get, "what the hell did you say to him/her that you couldnt keep in you're phone?" You come over the crib and start acting like Sherlock Holmes making sure that his/her sheets look regular and clean...but not too clean, cuz if they new sheets or been washed you start to wonder why?? lol...( I'm about to push a few peoples buttons here..) You do the garbage can inspection!!...lol.....the one where you're looking for too many condom wrappers..."Girl! we only used 2...why the hell was it 5 in his trash can!" lol....Or you fellahs start looking for clothes and hats that aint yours. You know if you see stuff like fitted caps, stud earrings, basket ball shorts, or wife beaters randomly in your girl wardrob that alarm goes off in your head...especially if it wasnt there the last time you was there.....(now....ive been a victim of this....got snapped because the dummy forgot I had a brother! lol....negro still aint believe me! I hope you reading this too you jerk!! ) ...whooo saaaaa...lol
But i give these scenerios to say that either you are paranoid, trippin, or your girl/guy aint shit and you need to realize it. I'll give my top reasons for why people act like this. # 1....you are crazy! Some people are just paranoid and think that everybody that they dealing with is out to be on some dog/unfaithful type stuff. You convince yourself that things are there that really arent there. You may have failed to realize that men dont take their trash out as often...so maybe all of those condom wrappers were ones that you guys used. He/she may have deleted their outbox because they send more outgoing messages than they recieve messages (honestly in my opinion, the outbox thing... is crap..lol...but maybe.), but due to the fact that every person before you was on dummy...you have your gaurds up expecting to catch this new person before they even have a chance to "play" you or "hurt" you.
#2....You have a voice inside you that is telling you that this person is no good...and you need to listen to it. If you are with someone and for some reason you always have a feeling like something is going on and its not due to the reasons listed in #1...then you need to follow those feelings. If you can never sleep when this person is over because their phone keeps ringing all night, or your waiting for the perfect opprotunity to snag their phone, then you dont need to be sleeping next to this person. Why waste energy trying to find things or catch this person up...when you already know the answers in your heart. Often times, God will give you an answer before you even have the chance to find it. Its ok to tell a person, " Look, you got a little bit too much going on for me....so when you cut back on all that action, then hollah at me."
Focus on being the best partner....not the best robocop! lol....Through my experiences Ive come to find that if a person truly cares about you, they will assure you of such by making you feel secure. If i gotta be inspector gadget, then youre not the one for me. And thats real. But thats just my opinion..let me know what you think.

From cuddy buddy to boo!

So I was talking with a few of my friends the other day and a very interesting discussion occured. One of my girls had been talking to this guy for about 2 years. When I say talking..they were basically friends with benefits...or should I say, cuddy buddies. They had been messing around for some time and it was clearly established at the beginning that he wasn't looking for a relationship. At the time when he stated this, my friend was pretty much in agreeance and felt the same way. Well, just as of two weeks ago he calls her and tells her that he has a girlfriend now. She said that this relationship had come out of nowhere because just a few days before he called her they had sex. She had noticed that as of late he had been acting different by not returning phone calls, coming by during strange hours, and he even put her on his limited profile on facebook (uh oh..lol). She knew that it was more than likely possible that he was talking to someone else, due to the arrangement of their relationship. They weren't "official" so technically he could talk to anyone he wanted to (I guess...lol). I asked her, "If you knew that he was talking to other people, then why is it so surprising that he has a girlfriend?" In summary, she was hurt because two years ago, when they first started sleeping together she remembers him telling her that he wasn't looking for a relationship. Over the two years, she claimed that his actions were saying the same....or at least the actions that he showed HER.
Here is the problem. Women, and some men, start sexual relationships with guys assuming that they are strong enough to handle being in a sex only relationship. Although you SAY you understand that he doesn't want a girlfriend....it hurts even more when you realize that he just doesn't want YOU as a girlfriend and that the only way that you will ever gratify him is sexually. When a relationship is established on sex that's what the premise of the relationship will be. I asked her if him and her ever had any sort of "real" connection or if they have ever had any deep or insightful conversations?...and pillow talk doesn't count. I asked her did she know how many siblings he had, what his religious views were, when his birthday was, and if she even knew what his major/minor was....do you know that she didn't know the answer to any of the above. I am by no means judging her because she wasn't expected to know any of these things due to the nature of relationship that they had. But she cant get mad because another female saw those things more important than just sex. In my opinion you cant expect situations like sexual arrangements, cuddy buddies, or friends with benefits to turn into something more. You cant just have a sexual relationship with a person and expect the guy or girl your dealing with to wake up one morning, roll over and look at you and think," I'm going to make her my girlfriend/boyfriend today." It rarely works that way.
And to my ladies...I cannot stress more...SLEEPING WITH A GUY WILL NOT MAKE HIM WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!! Thats for my ladies that keep repeatedly sleeping with some cat hoping that by her "givin him the bizness", it will make him wanna become official. NOT AT ALL. Because just as the guy that my friend was talking to, he will find a girl thats giving him "the bizness" on all levels...mentally and physically.
But in conclusion, KNOW YOUR PLACE, WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU NEED, AND WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE!! When you get these things confused, you get hurt. If You want more than sex, then state that CLEARLY, and act accordingly. If you just enjoy having sex with no attachments, then state that CLEARLY, and act accordingly. Stay in your lane, or you will get your feeling hurt.
But That's my opinion....Let me know what you think!

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST!!!!!!!!!

So, I was at the grocery store today and as I was getting out of my car I saw a strikingly handsome man. He was FINE! As he stepped out of his Mercedes Benz (looked to be a 2006) I noticed that he looked really clean, and I checked out his shoes. Why the shoes? Because if a man steps out of a car that nice and looks that good, pay close attention to the shoes. If they are busted, or run over then there is a great likely hood that this isn't his car dues to the fact that there looks to be more miles on his shoes...than the car. Now this is not always the case, and there is more complexity and theory on determining a mans character by the shoes that he wears, however that another blog in itself. HOWEVER, the point is, He's looking all good and and hoping to God that I can get close enough to see his hand....people marry young now days. Ya know...just close enough to give him the eye contact that says, "Its OK to come over and say hello." So he gets out the car and I'm trying to give him "the look", but then something strange happens. He goes around to the other side of the car and opens the door. So I'm like, "Damn! he with his girl!" When he opens the door this God awful, Popped, hideous creature emerges from the car. I'm thinking, "This HAS to be his sister!" Then I started praying, "Father God PLEASE LET THIS BE HIS SISTER....IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!!" And I know that everybody thinking what I'm thinking too...lol. Cuz yall know good and well that it usually is a sibling if he/she is fine and they walking with a creature. Sadly this was not the case. He grabbed her by the hand and walked proudly with this thing...i mean his girl, and was a complete gentleman. He opened every door for her...and every woman walking behind her. So I'm standing there STUCK. So I had to dissect this thing. I had to figure out the logic behind all of this madness! I said to myself, "well maybe shes a really nice educated girl on the inside." Just when I said that she looks at some white lady for bumping into her and says in the loudest, GHETTOEST, I live on 51st and state street and I'm about to pay for his groceries with my link card voice, "DAMN! I SWEAR TO GOD! PEOPLE NEED TO WATCH WHERE THE HELL THEY GOIN!!!" As tries to calm her down (Now i can tell from the way he's talking that he's the educated one) she wont let up. She continues," NAW! HELL NAW....HER ASS SAW ME!"...then she makes it official that she from the projects when the white lady continues to stare at her, obviously scared, and the girl says the line that all ghetto hoes say, "BOO BOOP! IS IT SOMETHIN ON MY FACE? I MEAN DAMN!" So im rolling by now! I thinking that this guy is gonna be embarrassed. He just grabbed hold of her hand and continued to walk in the store. So my idea that the girl may have been beautiful on the inside was ruled out. I left the store confused. All that i could think was, "Life isnt Fair!!" I mean, here is this handsome, sexy, seemingly educated (and he looked to be financially stable...thats a plus!) man with this ghetto zombie! Sadly, this isnt the first time i've seen this! Why do all of the good wholesome guys get with these bucket ass females! It makes you go home and look at yourself in the mirror for about two hours trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you. It seems that attractive and smart doesn't cut it now days. I think guys are starting to look for women that they dont have to protect because she scaring criminals away, a girl that can open a corona bottle with her teeth, a chick that know how to break into your car when you lock your keys in there, and girl that can take YOU to the shooting range, chicks that carry razor blades in they mouth and dont even take it out when yall eating dinner, a chick whose age is her credit score! I mean DAMN! You wonder what you are doing wrong. You start thinking crazy shit like.."Maybe if I dont get braces he'll call me." lol...why is this people?! There are many possibilities....my first theory is that Maybe this guy has been hurt by the attractive and educated type. Maybe I'd remind him of a girl that he once knew. Maybe he feels that the attractive, educated woman is only focused on that...being attractive and educated; and can't give him the attention that he needs. Shes a bit too independent. She knows that he should feel as if its a blessing to even be with her, so she acts as such. School and work always comes first, and she is never compromising. She may even always NEED some shit. Thats a possibility.
Another possibility is that Ugly, dumb, ghetto chicks dont require much maintenance. Maybe the reason that he was driving that luxury car is because ugly, dumb girls dont mind taking the bus....hence, he saves on gas! She catches the 352 to his crib late a night, cooks him a romantic dinner (Ramen Noodles and sausages, with sauteed onions), they have passionate sex, and because she live on the low ends and gotta be at Walgreen's in the morning for work she gets up to leave. He says, "Babe, you need me to take you?" She says, "Naw! Boy please! You know I got this 30 day bus pass!" Now the both of them are happy. He can get some and go to sleep, and i guess shes happy because...she got a 30 day bus pass?? An attractive, educated woman wouldn't have went! 4am or not your gonna hear it! He doesnt even get a chance to ask her if she need a ride cuz she already starting in on his ass," Dude what the hell you think this is?! You know my car in the shop. You betta get yo ass up and take me home...the fuck!" This Could be a possibility as well.
Both possibilities could be the reason why this fine man was with... the lochness monster. My mind pondered numerous possibilities. Im sure i could talk about this subject all day...but i wanna know what you think. Why do Attractive and overall wholesome individuals date ugly, ghetto ass, scrub ass, popped ass individuals? Whats really good??