PLEASE WATCH THE FOLLOWING LINK BEFORE READING THIS BLOG!
After Watching this video the question that comes to mind is, "What the hell is Really Good?!" As a young Black woman I have aspirations and dreams of someday being married happily to that special someone, having children, and living happily ever after. I believe that is the dream for majority of black women. But sadly, every African American woman will never make that dream a reality. I wrote an earlier Blog entitled "Beauty and The Beast," and in this blog i expressed my frustrations with great women finding great men. You would think that the women in this clip, being as successful and independent as they are, wouldn't have problems attracting men of the same caliber. You would think that success would attract success! BUT IT RARELY WORKS THIS WAY! WHY?
#1: The video was right. African American Women out number African American Men! There are 1.8 MILLION more African American women than men!...which means sistas, if you tryna get a brotha put your gym clothes on cuz a few of us are going to have to fight it out! lol. And society always wonder why black women are fighting and tearing each other down because of men...ITS BECAUSE THE BLACK MEN ARE RATIONED! BROTHAS...IT AINT THAT MANY OF YA'LL SO WHEN WE FIND A GOOD ONE...WE GOTTA THROW ON THE GLOVES TO KEEP YOU....so sad..but so true!
#2: Interracial dating! I am not one to knock interracial dating...I like white men...ya'll cute, ya'll funny, and I NEVER met one that couldn't get financed for a house. Hello Somebody! lol. BUT you also have to subtract the number of African American males that choose to date and or marry outside of their race! I have a few white friends that are dating black guys and they wonder why they get dirty looks from sistas when in public...white women: "ITS BECAUSE YOU ARE WALKING AROUND WITH A RARE COMMODITY!" Black women get the short end of the stick because its much easier for a black man to date a white woman, than it is for a black woman to get with a white man! Tis True!....I will give you my reasoning behind that during black history month! But if you must know now....respond asking, and ill send a reply. :-)
#3: We as black women often times have to lower our standards in order to at least be with SOMEBODY at the end of the day. As you've seen in the video...the SMALLEST population of African American males (sadly) are the ones that are successful, and have things going for themselves. The largest population are the SCRUBS!...and I say scrubs for a lack of better word. I hate it when black women are told that we set our standards TOO HIGH for the man in which we wish to be with. WHAT?! Its not that we are unrealistic...its that we set our standards too high for the population of brothas that actually qualify! In the video, you hear the women speak of the Black Woman Curse...now although they may have exaggerated...There is some truth behind this! I even see this on the campus of my college. Black women struggle when it comes to finding brothas...our conversations consist of "It aint NOBODY in Blo-No to talk to!" But my white friends are meeting at least 3 new guys every damn weekend!! Whats really good?! And they are happy!...(They're arent many Brothas on college campuses!...but big ups to those that Are!)
#4: Now its time to come at the sistas!!! Sistas...we cant blame this situation ENTIRELY on society, or black men...because we have MAJOR issues as well. We either are so success driven and "accomplished" that we arent willing to work with a brotha...now im not saying go find a crack head and attempt to reform him...im saying that just as sure as we struggle in society, they struggle as well and its up to us to be there as support. I hear all the time, "He aint making enough money!" Whaaat?! Ok...he may not be the CEO just yet, and he may not be making 6 figures, but when he does...and a brotha thats driven will...(As Kanye says) HE GONE GET ON AND LEAVE YO ASS FOR A WHITE GIRL! Sistas, we gotta work with the brothas who at least tryna make it! On another note: DONT EXPECT A MAN TO HAVE SOME SHIT THAT YOU AINT GOT! Dont look for a brotha thats ON if you aint ON..stay in ya lane. Also...SISTAS...WE GOT SOME JACKED UP ATTITUDES! I mean...I love the fact that we are strong, and we dont take shit...but really! We gotta learn how to turn the attitude ON and OFF!!!...It gets annoying and its gettin kinda played out. We gotta find something else besides eye rolling, neck snapping, and aggressive hand gestures to to get our men to act right...WHEN WE ALL DO BETTER....THEY HAVE NO CHOICE TO DO THE SAME. We blame men for soooo much stuff...but EVERY SINGLE MAN in this world came from a woman...thats where it starts.
In conclusion, Please let me know what you think about this one. As a single black woman in hopes of being "wifey" one day...I would like to know..."WHATS REALLY GOOD?!" And I know that this subject can go in so many different directions with so many opinions...but im anxious to hear what you feel. Increase!
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in 2010 President Obama needs to issue a Black Men stimulus...2.8 million MORE men so women can have 2 options instead of last pick lol
ReplyDeleteI saw this video bout a week ago and the couple things that I don't like about how they do these studies is that they don't mention the percentage of black women who ARE happily married to those black women that the ones in the video are seeking. Those women may be feeling that itch or the clock may be ticking.. but at the same time, everyone has a certain time in their life for certain things. What they're going through right now/their future is already written. They just have to keep going in their destined path and their "fairytale" will come along. I also don't like the fact that they don't even mention how marriage among A.A.'s has risen from 42% to 50% in the last 39 yrs. AND the last thing.. when did Steve Harvey become a "guru?" I read his book.. yes, it was insightful for someone inexperienced like me, however, for someone who has been divorced and remmarried, he's no expert. I would have rather them ask dude from Tough Love! Now he is THE TRUTH! LOL but anyway..
ReplyDeleteInterracial dating.. I don't think that white women will ever understand how if they are dating a good black man how that hurts US. Everything else I pretty much agree with. In due time, more black men are going to wise up & when they do hopefully it won't be too late!
Lowkey i watched the video...and initially I felt bad for black women. But the more i thought about it the more i realized that black men may have it worse. Lowkey i did my homework and tried to calculate the figures before i commented. But I'm way too bad with numbers to effectively support this theory mathematically. lol. But i feel like if there is 1.8 million more sistas than brothas - then statistically it makes since that there are more "whack" sistas than brothas off the strength of numbers alone. If hardly half of the black male population is eligible for marriage then that leaves about the same percentage if not more of ineligible black females. I feel like if we wanted to, black males can ask, "If its so many more sistas than brothas - how come i cant find a 'good' one?" Lowkey this video glorified the blessed and beautiful black women - but half of the problem lies within that huge percentage of weak ass women. The blessed and beautiful percentage of black women is extremely rare...the video didnt say that though. I would never deny that a good black man is probably hard as hell to find, but to find a good black woman is just as difficult. And in my opinion, the embarrassing marriage rate within the black community has more to do with the LOW STANDARDS of sistas than the HIGH STANDARDS of sistas. why? Because the sistas with the high standards barely make up a fraction of a percent of the black female population. But i swear if those blessed and beautiful sistas forced the rest of their weak ass sistas to raise the bar - then the brothas would be forced to step up to the plate. I want a woman with high ass standards - and i aint talkin about money and cars and cribs - Im talkin bout the real shyt. Thats exactly why i grind everyday to improve the little things first (God fearing, honesty, trust, respect, forgiveness, patience, understanding, and lowkey i stay in the gym) because i had a woman that challenged those things every day. And out of every woman I've ever been involved with, she's the only woman i have ever loved and still love with everything i got. Because her standards focused on the qualities that are most important...but nobody in the video talked about that. Lowkey finding a nigga with money is easier than finding a nigga with those qualities. And I'm makin sure my woman appreciates that first and spends my money later.
ReplyDeleteThis is a smooth topic tho....real cute ;)
INCREASE