Saturday, January 16, 2010
THE DEFINITION OF A WHORE IS???? .....
Ok...What is the definition of a whore? hoe? slut? When it comes to this subject, many view points differ. There are many answers to this question....
Growing up, I used to agree that if a woman slept with numerous men, then she was a whore, or easy. That's the way that I was brought up, and that's what I was persuaded to believe. However, after growing up, experiencing life, and meeting a few REAL hoes....this opinion has changed. I believe that being a "hoe" is a lifestyle/state of mind. Its the way you carry yourself, interact with the opposite sex, as well as your outlook on sex in general. A hoe, has sex without evaluating the consequences and it is more of a sport instead of an act of intimacy. A hoe goes out in search for "the D***K", and when its all said and done if the guy don't call the next day...the she on to the next. A hoe will "SMASH THE HOMMIE" with no remorse, and wont even see the problem with it. A hoe doesn't expect anything from her sex partner but an orgasm....and maybe some bus fair to get home. lol. A hoe is ALWAYS ready for anything! She keeps a condom, some baby wipes, ad a Altoid in her purse just in case something pop off! A hoe, doesn't care that she's a hoe...she accepts it. Now...that's just one breed of hoe.
The next breed of hoe is tricky hoe! lol... this is Ms. Independent hoe..."I have sex with men because im secure with my sexuality, and If men can do it, why cant I??" This is a hoe that has made hoeism to seem a bit more classy. This is the hoe that at heart knows she is a hoe...but needs good justification for being so. This is the hoe that don't think shes a hoe, just because she doesnt accept money, or gifts in exchange for the sex (Naw...that just doesn't make you a prostitute...lol). Now I personally know few of the Ms. Independent hoes....they cool people...you just gotta give them a reality check sometimes like, "G...you a hoe. (lol) You aint even know cuz!" This breed of hoe will trick you because she aint your stereotypical hoe....she can conceal them hoe tendencies beneath the latest fashions, and looking just a bit more classy....to the average eye. However..I can respect this hoe a bit more than the first breed of hoe, because she knows how to throw you off her trail...lol. I dont care how independent you are....when the # of sexual partners you have is like twice your age...Im sure that a few people consider you a hoe.
Now the third breed of hoe will often times not be labeled as a hoe to most. This is due to the fact that this hoe is so oblivious to the fact that she is a hoe. No...honestly...she is....whole hearted...she doesn't know. She is the type that only has sex with men if she feels a connection....and what makes her a hoe is the fact that she feels that connection almost every damn weekend..lol. She really means well at heart, but shes an emotionally connected hoe. lol.
I am by no means judging ANYONE! I think that peoples personal life, and sexual decisions should be left up to them. I just feel that women need to realize that SOMEBODY in this world is gonna think your a whore no matter how many people you have had sex with. Also, WHO you choose to have sex with that helps you receive the hoe badge of Merritt...lol. I know women who have only had sex with 1 guy...and will forever be known as a hoe (sad). If the guy your sleeping with thinks your a hoe.....im more than sure that he will feel compelled to share this view of you with the world. Its also about establishing morals and expectations out of every sexual encounter. When you put yourself out there like a hoe....then you are treated and labeled as such. When you allow what goes on in your bedroom to be seen in the streets, then don't be surprised if you're forever wearing a scarlet letter on your chest. Its old school to say this...but the safest way to not be talked about...it to not give em' nothing to talk about. And yes...everybody has a freak deep down on the inside...its all about how often you choose to unleash it. Some people choose every weekend with different partners...and some people wait until their married. The choice is yours! But at the end of the day, know who you are and what you can handle! As i always say...stay in your lane. And that's real...lemme know what you think! Especially my fellahs!!! :-)
P.S. (The image up top is funny to me...lmao!! Don't take offense please!...unless your mom is really a whore...then I apologize...my condolences....lol)
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Sleeping with a Broken heart....
I actually listened to the lyrics of this song for the first time today....and I actually think they are pretty amazing. I know that many of us have went to bed with a broken heart, or have tried to sleep with that love sick feeling all night. And its not a good feeling, because even when you finally fall asleep you have to wake up because that person is in your dreams. It's as if heartbreak can consume you entire life.....If you allow it. They Question for the day is HOW DO YOU SLEEP WITH A BROKEN HEART? And not only that, how do you cope with this hurt in order to get over it, move on, and possibly forgive. And this Blog is From my heart to yours!
1.) STAY BUSY!!! Staying Busy is my #1!! Staying busy keeps your mind occupied and it allows you to put energy into something besides thinking about the hurt. I can honestly say that I am most productive and creative when I am hurt. lol. Go to the gym and hit the treadmill, pick up an instrument, or Knit.....im telling you it helps. I know that even though you arent thinking about it, it doesnt change the fact that the pain isnt still there. However, you can dull the pain just a bit by being productive. An idol mind, is the devils playground.
2.) BREAK TIES IF NEED BE!!!! The worse thing to do is to have your heart broken by someone and still have to look at their ass. lol. So, I usually break all ties and get rid of anything that has to with the person. So if you are facebook friends....Unfriend them if you cant handle it. The last thing you need to see is the person update their status saying, "I'm feeling GREAT today!!" when you are feeling like shit. lol. I personally like to do the pack up method. The pack up method is when you pack all their shit up and either choose to destroy it, have them come pick it up, or drop it off on the side of the road and text them the location of where it is. lol. But This only give you immediate satisfaction. lol.
3.) PRAYER!! On a more serious note...Prayer has gotten me through some of the most hurtful situations. It has been God and God alone that has kept me from going CRAZY and doing things that would have had me needing bail money (NO JOKE). There has been moments where I was in route to bust car windows, stab tires, throw bricks (lol...the brick is a true story) etc, but I had to LITERALLY stop and have a little talk with Jesus. Pray for peace and strength. There is NO situation that prayer cant solve. TRUST ME! I have been through it ALL!! sadly. But prayer is whats gonna hold you together when you see the individual in public and they're laughing while you're hurting on the inside. Prayer is whats gonna keep you from breaking down and crying when you think about the situation. Prayer is whats gonna give you that extra hour of peaceful sleep at night. And prayer is what will allow you to MOVE ON! Sometime you cant avoid the person, even if you get rid of all of their things, and unfriend them on fb, you may be forced to see them at work, school, parties....you may even have mutual friends. But prayer is whats gonna have you looking Good and glowing every single time you see them!
4.) Now this is a tough one...that many cant do...I myself have a hard time with this one...but TALK TO THE PERSON. OUCH! I know what you thinking, "I dont have shit to say to him/her. he/she can do them and I'm gone do me." Yeah...but its not that simple if "doing you" consist of listening to sad love songs and crying, and getting mad every time you see something that reminds you of them. Thats so not cool! In all honesty, you may need to let the person know exactly what they did to hurt you. Now many people dont like to do this because they feel like it makes them feel weak and or vulnerable. You dont even have to talk to them face to face if you feel like you may get angry or emotional. But when you are READY, and you feel level headed....either talk to them face to face, over the phone (DO NOT TEXT!!!!!!!....texting is open to interpretation and its THE DEVIL..lol) or you can write them a letter. The only way this will work is if you are prepared to NOT get a response. And if you do get a response, be prepared for it to NOT BE what you would want it to be. This only serves as a means of closure and communication.
In conclusion, know and always remember that "This too shall pass." A heartbreak will only last as long as you allow it. It hurts when it comes to matters of the heart....but its imperative that you learn and move on. I hope that I helped somebody....much love! and BRING THE NEW YEAR IN ON A HAPPY NOTE!!! LEAVE HEARTBREAK IN 09!!!! ITS A NEW DECADE!!! lol....And this is from my heart to yours.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
A VERY IMPORTANT NEW YEARS EVE MESSAGE!!!! WHAT YOU OUGHT TO KNOW!!!!
For your own sake....kiss someone when the ball drops! You dont wanna spend 2010 lonley and sad because you cant get a date. And if you kiss someone and it doesnt work...well at least you will always have a great memory. So I hope that Everyone has a wonderful and SAFE New Year! Ya'll know that stupid people are going to be out tonight...so get somewhere and get it crackin in a SAFE environment. If the kiss gets pass 2nd base, please be SAFE and wrap it up. "You gotta wrap it...before you slap it!", "Don't be silly, Protect your willy","If you gone hump, cover your stump"
LOL...Y`a'll know I be tweakin! Lol....this reminds me of one or my favorite movies..lol..random, but ill post a clip of it below for your viewing pleasure! :-) IN CONCLUSION, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE AND I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD NIGHT!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
A RECESSION OF BLACK MEN!!!....Its turning into a Great Depression.
After Watching this video the question that comes to mind is, "What the hell is Really Good?!" As a young Black woman I have aspirations and dreams of someday being married happily to that special someone, having children, and living happily ever after. I believe that is the dream for majority of black women. But sadly, every African American woman will never make that dream a reality. I wrote an earlier Blog entitled "Beauty and The Beast," and in this blog i expressed my frustrations with great women finding great men. You would think that the women in this clip, being as successful and independent as they are, wouldn't have problems attracting men of the same caliber. You would think that success would attract success! BUT IT RARELY WORKS THIS WAY! WHY?
#1: The video was right. African American Women out number African American Men! There are 1.8 MILLION more African American women than men!...which means sistas, if you tryna get a brotha put your gym clothes on cuz a few of us are going to have to fight it out! lol. And society always wonder why black women are fighting and tearing each other down because of men...ITS BECAUSE THE BLACK MEN ARE RATIONED! BROTHAS...IT AINT THAT MANY OF YA'LL SO WHEN WE FIND A GOOD ONE...WE GOTTA THROW ON THE GLOVES TO KEEP YOU....so sad..but so true!
#2: Interracial dating! I am not one to knock interracial dating...I like white men...ya'll cute, ya'll funny, and I NEVER met one that couldn't get financed for a house. Hello Somebody! lol. BUT you also have to subtract the number of African American males that choose to date and or marry outside of their race! I have a few white friends that are dating black guys and they wonder why they get dirty looks from sistas when in public...white women: "ITS BECAUSE YOU ARE WALKING AROUND WITH A RARE COMMODITY!" Black women get the short end of the stick because its much easier for a black man to date a white woman, than it is for a black woman to get with a white man! Tis True!....I will give you my reasoning behind that during black history month! But if you must know now....respond asking, and ill send a reply. :-)
#3: We as black women often times have to lower our standards in order to at least be with SOMEBODY at the end of the day. As you've seen in the video...the SMALLEST population of African American males (sadly) are the ones that are successful, and have things going for themselves. The largest population are the SCRUBS!...and I say scrubs for a lack of better word. I hate it when black women are told that we set our standards TOO HIGH for the man in which we wish to be with. WHAT?! Its not that we are unrealistic...its that we set our standards too high for the population of brothas that actually qualify! In the video, you hear the women speak of the Black Woman Curse...now although they may have exaggerated...There is some truth behind this! I even see this on the campus of my college. Black women struggle when it comes to finding brothas...our conversations consist of "It aint NOBODY in Blo-No to talk to!" But my white friends are meeting at least 3 new guys every damn weekend!! Whats really good?! And they are happy!...(They're arent many Brothas on college campuses!...but big ups to those that Are!)
#4: Now its time to come at the sistas!!! Sistas...we cant blame this situation ENTIRELY on society, or black men...because we have MAJOR issues as well. We either are so success driven and "accomplished" that we arent willing to work with a brotha...now im not saying go find a crack head and attempt to reform him...im saying that just as sure as we struggle in society, they struggle as well and its up to us to be there as support. I hear all the time, "He aint making enough money!" Whaaat?! Ok...he may not be the CEO just yet, and he may not be making 6 figures, but when he does...and a brotha thats driven will...(As Kanye says) HE GONE GET ON AND LEAVE YO ASS FOR A WHITE GIRL! Sistas, we gotta work with the brothas who at least tryna make it! On another note: DONT EXPECT A MAN TO HAVE SOME SHIT THAT YOU AINT GOT! Dont look for a brotha thats ON if you aint ON..stay in ya lane. Also...SISTAS...WE GOT SOME JACKED UP ATTITUDES! I mean...I love the fact that we are strong, and we dont take shit...but really! We gotta learn how to turn the attitude ON and OFF!!!...It gets annoying and its gettin kinda played out. We gotta find something else besides eye rolling, neck snapping, and aggressive hand gestures to to get our men to act right...WHEN WE ALL DO BETTER....THEY HAVE NO CHOICE TO DO THE SAME. We blame men for soooo much stuff...but EVERY SINGLE MAN in this world came from a woman...thats where it starts.
In conclusion, Please let me know what you think about this one. As a single black woman in hopes of being "wifey" one day...I would like to know..."WHATS REALLY GOOD?!" And I know that this subject can go in so many different directions with so many opinions...but im anxious to hear what you feel. Increase!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Signs of love making.....
I am not one to believe that one should by any means base their entire means of picking companion off of their sign. I think that you can make it work with just about anyone if your are willing to give and take due to your differences. BUT i thought about some of the relationships or people that I've talked to that didnt work out....and I thought about those that did...and the people that I liked the best were the ones that my sign are expected to be most compatible with. The people that didnt work out, were the signs that Leos just dont connect with. CRAZY RIGHT!?! Now I aint gone put no names on blast, but I WILL...put your sign on blast...Lets start with the signs that I really enjoyed.
#1- Mr. Leo:
:-) Jamie Foxx Sang it best "Ohhhh we were so the same, i dunno why i cant see it baby. And it aint no point of feeling blue...ya just like me and im just like you....ya just like me...."
Mr. Leo Is just as aggressive as I am and doesn't let you get away with ANYTHING! He plays VERY rough...but he is just as warm and caring. He appreciates Romance and the finer things in life....they also like to cuddle :-). The only thing that clashes....YOU GONE GET TIRED OF FINDING WAYS TO STROKE THAT EGO....lol. And Very touchy feely!...Just like Simba and Nala....a perfect match.
#2- Mr. Gemini
:-) A really affectionate pair! Leos love with their hearts...and Mr. Gemini loves with his mind. Very creative when it comes to romance and thinking of ways to make you smile. Only down fall I had....Leos are a tad bit jealous and short tempered...and Gemini's flirt toooooo much!!!! lol. But lowkey..they do it and dont even know that they're doing it!! so...you cant really stay that pissed at the end of the day....cuz its just their nature. Plus they will ALWAYS find was to assure you that you are the most important. Mr. Gemini is pretty smooth. ;-) You find yourself cakin ALOT wit Mr. Gemini.
#3- Mr. Aries
:-) Mr. Aries Is by far just as AGGRESSIVE as Mr. Leo. You stay on your feet when you're around Mr. Aries because there will more than likely ALWAYS be an argument...or debate about something. There is never a down time Its either really good...or really bad. No in between. But both signs playful and childlike nature often keeps the both interested. Aries are very passionate, which is a turn on. Downfall....besides the fact that they are COMPLETELY stubborn...Aries like to spend money + I like to spend a lot of money= No checks and balances when it comes to finances!!
***One thing I noticed about Leo and Aries Men...They ALL like their heads rubbed!...and strangely....scratched..??? (I guess They get a lot of tension in the head area from being so big headed and head strong...If you rub their heads....they'll appreciate it.********
TOP 3 DISLIKES
#1- Mr. Cancer
:-( Mr. Cancer....sensative/moody. It can be cute at first, but it soon becomes irritating. Cancers can be very insecure as well....which is cute at first..but grows to be a pain. lol. Their feelings get hurt easily as well. Also, I didnt like the fact that I could DOMINATE at EVERYTHING...I mean I like to be dominate...but If I feel as if I can be in charge of EVERYTHING in every aspect of the relationship...I get bored.
#2 Mr. Aquarius
:-( :-( :-( As far as relationships and communication...BOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Besides the fact that Mr. Aquarius often seems as if he doesn't care most of the time...he NEVER knows exactly what he wants in life, or at least he keeps it to himself...which clashes with Ms. Leo because she ALWAYS knows what she wants, how she wants it, and how she's gonna get it. I just found out TODAY...that this sign is my POLAR OPPOSITE. Explains a lot! 3 thumbs DOWN..lol...cool as a friend tho.
#3 Mr. Pisces
One word.....BOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! Dang.....I need just a bit more Razzle Dazzle. lol...cool as a friend tho.
These are my opinions on these signs based on my sign, and my experiences...I am curious to know other peoples opinions!!! Do you think Zodiac compatibility has truth to it??
I'll leave you with two songs!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKlY9IG8Y4k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDoGMhOATNs
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wrong Guy.....Right Things....sucks!
Have you ever had the wrong person doing all the right things??? lol..It sounds funny...but its so true. A person takes an interest in you and they start to do all the right things. For us ladies, they call to check up on you frequently, they're considerate, they hold great conversation and they actively listen to you, never forgets your birthday, buy you gifts, shares the same interests as you, sensitive, understanding, always wants to take you out...etc. But even though he does all of these things you cant help but wish it was another guy doing these things. You cant help but wish that the other guy had sense enough to do the same things that this "wrong guy" was doing. Every time your phone rings, you're hoping that its the guy that you want to be calling you, but your heart drops because its the"wrong guy" calling to see how your day went. You can be out on a date having the time of your life with this "wrong guy", and the entire time you are thinking about someone else. And its not that you dont appreciate this "wrong guys" gestures....you just wish that the other guy would do the things that he was doing. And at the end of the day you feel as if you should just charge it to the game and maybe force yourself to make it work with this "wrong guy" thats doing all the right things.....because at least he's taking an active interest in trying to establish a relationship with you...unlike this other guy. In reality you know that if you did settle for this "wrong guy" doing the right things...you would never be truly happy because your heart or should I say, Mind, would be so fixated on this other guy. This leaves this, "wrong guy" hurt in the end.
Emotions are very complicated...which sucks. The questions that need to be answered is, why will this wrong guy doing all the right things never be the right guy? Why isnt the wrong guy the guy thats not doing all the right things? And last but not least, what makes this "right guy" (or the guy you wish would be doing the right things) right? I will honestly say that I dont have the answers this time. I've pondered on these questions, and sadly ive been in this situation before. And honestly you feel bad because you only call the "wrong guy" when the guy you wanted to go out with isnt available to go out with you. Ive been in situations where at the end of the date I wanted to say, "Look..Im a horrible person, dont ever call me again...for your own good." lol. It eats at you on the inside because its as if your using this "wrong guy" as a practice dummy for when the real guy wants to get his shit together. And then you go through the phase of feeling like a dummy, because this other guy probably aint even thinking about you, and here you are not enjoying this "wrong guy" because you cant stop thinking about the guy who aint probably thinking about you! lol.
And if you've been in this situation.....we all know what happens next. You finally get frustrated and fed up with the guy who aint doing shit...and you MOVE ON! You start enjoying this wrong guy. At first you had to force yourself....but then it starts to work out and you actually start to like him. You have finally gotten to the point where you can go out and not think about this other guy. You find happiness and comfort with this "wrong guy".....and he soon becomes who you think is the "right guy." AND THEN.....when you are content with this situation....the guy who you wished was doing all the right things comes back into the picture! UH OH!!!...and you thought you had moved on, but sadly....you realize....not so much. lol. So now the right guy is trying to do all the right things....and you're confused....and angry. You get angry because you wonder why he couldn't have just had his shit together from the beginning....if he had done so, then you wouldn't have even needed to force the wrong guy to be the right guy! I may be confusing people a bit....but if you've been here before, then I think you will be able to follow me.
In the end you have to either choose to either be with the guy you wanted to be with initially....or tell him that he missed out and you moved on. But depending where your heart...or infatuation is...the final decision may vary.
I will leave you with this JAzmine Sullivan song...She explains her decision beautifully!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-WQQSla5Hs
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
WHEN ITS COLD OUTSIDE.....XOXOXOXO
Im sitting in my apartment snuggled up on my couch with my favorite blanket...kinda pissed because I had to brush snow off of my car this morning!! Im thinking about how I hate the winter because its a complicated season. It takes too much to get out of the house in the morning! Im a summer lover. I like it about 90 degrees or hotter, body sticking to leather car seats, blasting the AC at night, dont want nobody too close to me cuz im sweating, get up and put on little of nothing and go. Although I hate the winter, I cant help but to admit that it is the season of love....TIS THE SEASON TO BE CAKIN'!!!! FA LA LA LA LA...LA LA LA LA! lol. Having that special someone makes the winter all the more enjoyable :-). Nothing is better than having that extra body heat at night, and having someone to brush the snow off of the car for you in the morning. Someone to rub your feet when they're cold at night. Someone to curl up and cuddle with on the couch. Someone to exchange back rubs with.
The winter requires ALOT of indoor recreation. Alot of romance... ;~) You find yourself doing things in a more intimate setting because its too cold to go out. Instead of going out to eat and to the movies...you may feel inspired to make a home cooked meal for that special someone and call it a block buster night. Staying indoors gives you an opportunity to converse with your significant other, and get to know them on a deeper level. During the spring and summer we often fail to spend alone time with that special someone because of the various activities and social settings that come along with these times of the year. This freezing weather invites the heat that stems from winter romance. And the best idea for winter romance generally lies in your own hands and imagination. This time of the year requires you to get creative in order to keep both you and your partner amused. Its always fun trying to figure out how many ways both you and your partner can generate body heat... ;-)
If you think about it..all of the most romantic ans loving holidays are in the winter such as Christmas, and please lets not forget Valentines Day! During this time of year you feel warmth and comfort by gazing in the eyes of your partner, and whispering sweet nothings in their ear. You enjoy being held in that late hours of the night while exchanging pillow talk......During the holidays he can play Santa....and you can be Mrs. Clause. Make winter hott and steamy!!
HOWEVER....The winter time can be lonely for those of us that are single... (whomp, whomp, whomp)....so to all my single people...lets generate body heat by taking a few shots, getting fresh to deaf, and gettin it crackin at the CLUB!!! Cuz lowkey....as soon as the snow melts...so will half of these relationships!! lol...Lets generate heat by going hard at the gym in order to get that beach body for the summer!! Feel Free to come and generate heat with me by getting beat in Nintendo wii boxing!!! lol. Do not be discouraged single people!!! lol. Single is for the summer....but do not fret....I put a hit out on that punk ass ground hog so that fool WILL NOT be seeing his shadow!! lol.....Summertime here we come!!!
Shout out to Rhea Newman! I couldnt do it ship...I tried to make this one as mushy and lovey dovey as possible...but reality hit me!! lol. But Ya'll know I just be clownin...but so serious. :-)